


In for a Penny(whistle)

by De Orakle (Delphi)



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: Accidental Sex, Bestiality, Established Relationship, Humor, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-06-02
Updated: 2002-06-02
Packaged: 2017-10-12 12:28:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/124813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Delphi/pseuds/De%20Orakle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hagrid receives an unexpected proposition from Professor Snape.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In for a Penny(whistle)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Snape Fuh-Q Fest First Wave. Tricky Pairing #44: _Snape/Fluffy_

"Hagrid! A word with you, if I may?"

It was a little after dinner, and Rubeus Hagrid had just turned the corner when Severus Snape came limping out of the Great Hall with great haste. A strange, pained expression was painted on his thin, sour face, and his eyes were bright.

This did not bode well. Hagrid glanced down the hall towards the door. Even at a dead run, he wouldn't make it in time. He sighed, folding his hands and bracing himself.

Snape quickly caught up to him, and the expression on his face twisted. It took Hagrid a moment to realise, and even then he couldn't be sure—but he thought Professor Snape might be  _smiling_  at him.

Hagrid nodded politely. "Er...yeh all right there, Professor?"

He watched in fascination as the smile grew.

"I'm perfectly well, thank you," Snape said smoothly. "If you're referring to the leg, I'm afraid Peeves tripped me up on the stairs. Something really should be done about that menace, don't you agree?"

Hagrid nodded again, this time perhaps more dumbly than politely. He thought this just might be the most that Professor Snape had ever said to him, save for the time when Hagrid had accidentally mown over the patch of hagsweed the professor was cultivating. And even then, most of it hadn't really been words, just a lot of incoherent shouting.

"Can I help you with something, sir?" Hagrid hoped not. He didn't trust that smile one bit. Put him in mind of piskies, who only smiled when they were about to bite you.

Snape laughed softly to himself. It was obviously meant as a friendly sort of laugh. Hagrid took a step back and looked up and down the corridor, hoping Professor Dumbledore would happen by right about now.

"Yes, Hagrid. As a matter of fact I wish to speak to you about that beast of yours."

Hagrid's eyes widened. He licked his lips nervously. "Listen, Professor, if Muffin 'et your owl, I'm—"

"I was referring to...I believe you call it 'Fluffy'?"

Hagrid sagged in relief. Then he frowned, great cogs starting to roll in his head. "Yeah, I meant to ask you something too." The word 'tact' was not in Hagrid's vocabulary, but he gave it the old Hogwarts try.

"When you borrowed one of my whistles—when yeh said Dumbledore told you to check in on Fluffy?"

Snape's smile faded slowly. "Yes?"

Hagrid blushed, a great bloom of red reaching up towards his ears. "Well, you didn't...take the silver pennywhistle did you? Only 'cause it's meant for calling Fang, and I can't find it nowhere."

Snape's face returned to a more familiar expression; he looked as if he'd swallowed a lemon whole and was ready to spit acid in someone's eye. "I assure you, Hagrid, I have better things to do with my time then steal your dog toys. I took the wooden one and returned it immediately. If you suspect theft, I suggest you ask our Mr. Potter. He does seem to have a knack for getting into places he doesn't belong."

"Oh no, sir! I'm sure I just lost it somewheres. Just don't want it gettin' near Fluffy, is all."

Snape's cheek seemed to twitch, though perhaps it was merely a trick of the flickering torch. "And why is that, pray tell?"

Hagrid dropped his voice to a conspiratorial whisper, once again scanning the corridor. Didn't want any of the kiddies to hear this. "Well, you know how a little music will put a dog like that to sleep. It's because something in their ears are hooked up special to their brains. And a really high-pitched sound will...well, it makes them a bit randy, sir."

"Indeed?" This time Hagrid was sure he didn't imagine the twitching cheek.

"Oh yes, sir—an' you known it ain't just three heads Fluffy's got."

Snape made a choking sound.

"Just wanna make sure one of the students don't find the whistle and go playing it up on the third floor. Wouldn't be fair to poor Fluffy, what with no lady dogs about—"

"Yes,  _about_  Fluffy," Snape interrupted. "I was wondering what you meant to do with him now that his...services are no longer required. By the school."

A cold prickle ran a marathon down Hagrid's spine. When a Potions master was asking after one of his creatures, it rarely ended well for the beastie. Mostly it just ended. "Er...I think someone down in Hogsmeade might want 'im. Can't keep him myself. Him an' Fang don't get on at all, an' it's three against one."

"I'd like to buy him."

Hagrid flinched. "Sir?"

"What don't you understand, Hagrid? I would like to buy the beast—exchange currency for canine. Yes?"

"Uhm...well the thing is..." Hagrid bit his lip, but the words all came pouring out. "I'm real sorry, sir, but I'm mighty attached to Fluffy, and I just couldn't bear it if he ended up in a cauldron, y'know?"

Snape blinked. He spoke very slowly and clearly, his tone making it clear that he suspected Hagrid of being slightly less intelligent than Fang. "You think I want to put your dog in a potion."

"Well," Hagrid muttered, trying his best to remember his Potions lessons. "Mebbe not all of him. Like 'is teeth, or fur, or summat."

Snape smiled that same frightening smile. "I want him for  _security_ , Hagrid. I keep quite a few dangerous ingredients in the dungeon storerooms, and we wouldn't want the wrong element getting their hands on them, now would we?"

"O' course not, but...er..."

"What is it now?"

"With all due respect, sir, it takes a real strong hand to manage Fluffy. Wouldn't want you to get hurt or—"

"I assure you, Hagrid, I can handle that creature. I've found we..." he licked his lips, "...get along swimmingly. A truly magnificent beast." Snape's gaze lost focus for a moment, and then he shook his head. "Now how much do you want for him?"

Hagrid hesitated. He thought that might have been the same soft look on his own face when he'd brought Norbert home. "Oh, for you, sir—wouldn't take a Knut. Jus'...it'd be nice to be able to visit him, but."

Snape rolled his eyes. "I'm sure something can be arranged."

Hagrid grinned. He thought of Fluffy as a puppy, his three little heads fighting each other for the bottle, chewing up his wellies. He imagined Fluffy curled up in front of a fireplace in the dungeons, and his eyes got misty. Showed him right for misjudging Snape.

He sniffled. "You'll take good care of 'im, right? He really likes 'is rabbits, and I've got this old broken bludger he likes to chew on."

"I'll take  _very_  good care him, I promise. He makes a wonderful companion," Snape said, and he chuckled softly.

"And you'll ask your classes about tha' whistle? That they can jus' leave it in me house when I'm out, and no one will be in any trouble."

" _Yes_ , Hagrid. And I will keep an eye out for it."

"Shake on it?"

Snape's hand was very small and sweaty in his own, but he shook twice firmly before stepping back.

With a curt nod, Snape limped back the way he'd come. Hagrid watched as he paused for a moment, pulling at a thin chain around his neck—silver—and arranging whatever hung from it.

Snape laughed to himself again, and it echoed through the corridor. Hagrid's smile faded a little, though he couldn't say why. He went to make his goodbyes with Fluffy.


End file.
